To new readers of my blog welcome. To returning one's hello again.
I have not published anything since April last year. So much has happened in these nine months.
I have left a relationship that whilst in it I did not realise the hughly negative affect it was having on my life. My friends and family noticed my personality change, but I didn't realise until I met my now partner and she showed me what true love is and how you should be treated.
Breaking free from the previous relationship was the hardest thing I've ever done. I endured extremely traumatic bullying to the point where I would doubt myself and at one point got so low I contemplated taking my own life.
But I have a Son, he is without question the proudest achievement I have in the world. He stuck with me through so much and is just an amazing person. He sees things from so many points of view, he doesn't judge, he just listens.
Alongside this break up I also discovered I had Breast Cancer. To many this alone would have been hard to deal with, but for me it was secondary to getting out of the relationship.
I will never forget the sheer overwhelming fear though of having to have CT scans, an operation and Radiotherapy. The feeling of overwhelming panic that at times took over at having to lie still during treatment, knowing that if you moved a fraction the treatment would have to start again. The nurses in Oncology will forever be close to my heart, their patients and understanding was on a scale I'd not had before.
During these few months I lost all interest in knitting a hobby that I hold so dear, but with never ending encouragement from good friends I slowly started to knit and design again.
Armed with a huge desire to really get back into designing, looking at inspiration, creating mood boards, swatching all things that I loved to do on my degree. I knew that I had to grap the ball by the horns and overcome my developing agoraphobia and head into town to see an exhibition by Sue Bradley.
Sue's work is only on display for a few more days in Cheltenham Wilson Gallery. But they also had a great exhibition of Ernest Gibson's work and considering my dissertation was about William Morris and the Arts & Crafts movement it was fascinating to see.
The story behind the exhibition was based on Sue's Father's coat. She had taken clothing her Father had worn including his wedding suit, ties and hand knitted socks. She created a full length coat which she embellished with embroidery, of words he used to say, used his ties to make the sleeves by needle felting them together. The back has an outlined embroidered image of her Mother.
As part of the Gloucestershire Guild of Craftsmen, Guild 51 a shop that is joined on to the Museum have some of Sue's work for sale.
I have come home with a determination to put the past behind me. I know I will have good and bad days, but I want to make my Son, Partner, Mother and friends who have been incredibly supportive proud, as they tell me how strong I am it is time to start believing it.
This blog post is also dedicated to a dear friend called Gilly who supported me and was always there with a kind supportive word and her last ever post to me read "Keep on fighting my love". She was younger than me and lost her life to Cancer. I will forever be glad I met Gilly and am going to embrace my new life as I have been given a second chance.
